i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
