I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
