this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
