to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
