porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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