i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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