i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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