Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
