he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
