In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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