You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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