It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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