Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
