he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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