So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
