WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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