ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
