I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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