He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we're making bets on your personal life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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