pedialite and red bull = repair kit
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
