In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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