The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
