Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
