we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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