Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
