he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
