I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
