I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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