I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
