hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
