i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
