Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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