Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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