i think i have two assholes
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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