Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
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Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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