my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
