the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize