I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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