she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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