Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
