I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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