No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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