i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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