It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
