I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
