he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
