"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
