I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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