tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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