those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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