My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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