One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
