what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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