So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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