he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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