I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
