hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Drake has all the answers
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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