I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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