i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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